i said goodbye..

i always knew i wanted you...
i've been hoping to call you mine for a very long time..
and when i finally got the permission to own you..
the feeling was...INDESCRIBEABLE...

i've done what i needed to do..
i've always been there for you when you're at your worst..
i thought that i can never live without you ..
maybe i wasn't so right...

18 months is not long..
neither is it short..
through this period of time..
i've grown fonder of you...

i gave you what you needed..
i think i spoilt you rotten...
but whatever i wanted..
i never got it back..

you've ruined me in a way..
and i really don't have the patience anymore..
i can't stand you giving me shits in the morning..
until i don't even know how to deal with you anymore..

it took me a lot of time to realise..
that i don't want you around...
you're splitting me from the end of dark lines...
and i can't take it any longer...

i'm sorry if you're never prepared...
neither have i thought of this...
but things change as time goes by...
and i'm sorry i said goodbye...

i finally said goodbye.....

TO MY HAIR!!!!!!!

yeah..i was the one who supplied the black long thingy in the horror flick "The Wig"..Now u know..

yes, i finally cut my hair!!!! it feels so great...went to X' Track Hair Salon in Jalan Prima Setapak today...i like the hairdressers there cos' they are like super friendly and warm..and they actually think a lot before they cut your hair...which means they don't simply just hold the pair of scissors and flip around your crown... another reason X' Track gets my approval is because that if you're a student and no matter what hairstyle you cut, they only charge you RM 12....cheap right?? well...here's the process of how i lost my tresses...

Hmm...Max (the hairdresser) snipped off the hair behind first...if you want his number, please come and take from me..X' Track's good...serious!

he continued to cut the sides after much thought on how he should proceed...

aaarrgghh!!! one side's gone!!!

almost done...he's styling my hair i think...

Now...i look bloodysnobbishthatyouwishyoucanjustkillmeonthespotrightnow...

kua ha mi??!!? $%*#@!!??!!?

a girl named Sylvin..

hiya'all!!

this post is mainly about this girl called sylvin from my hometown..i don't know her personally, but i think she can dance well for her age. She's around 16 or 17 this year and she really has the passion for dancing. she has been in countless dancing competitions and has danced for singapore's MediaCorp's charity shows..she's quite a babe if you ask me. recently, she's in this competition organised by samsung called the World Cyber Games Dance Competition. Her team's Fuse. I think they can dance quite well and you guys can vote for their team or anyone of the finalists here.

this is their dance video clip...and if you wana see sylvin, here's her friendster account.



and by the way, if i'm not wrong, she's the last dancer on your left at the beginning of this dance..enjoy!!

Only A Woman Like You by Michael Bolton

This...is really a song worth listening...really worth listening..it just says it all..

Only A Woman Like You

It's beautiful, your honesty
You cry when you need to
You say what you feel
You're never afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve
You're always so open with me
It's in your voice, I can hear it
The sound of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

It's magical, your love for me
It's more than a man could ever receive
I'm just a man and it's hard to believe
A woman like you could love me
It's in your eyes, I can see it
The look of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

If only I could find the words to say
But I just can't, so forgive me
Cause you took the words away
You answered every prayer I always prayed
It's in your touch, I can feel it
The feeling of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

of italians and hot kitties..

i have to admit...im starting to become a party freak.. i am..

just within a month, and i've been to TWO parties, as in like REALLY HUGE parties with FREAKING HUGE crowd...and both are organised by Hotlink.

(actually hotlink quite nice la..but too bad i betrayed them and changed to digi..wahaha..but still hotlink seems to give me more than digi does)

First, it was the Grand Finale of World Cup Finals in Bukit Bintang.. ooo...it was soo sooo soooooo much fun i tell you.. i sewed Italian flag weh..and i'm proud to say, it was hand-sewn... and i actually saw four guys sitting down and sewing flags for the first time in my life...from 7pm-5am in the morning.. there's no stopping guys when it comes to football...Girls will ALWAYS and FOREVER be second as long as there is football..*sigh*

the football fever was MAD..INSANE..OUT OF MIND...OUTRAGEOUS...really.. for three days in a row, i was dragged by a few guys(mainly TWO) to go "shopping" for jersey... and the way guys shop is unbelievable..this is the second time i see guys shop better than girls, and this time, the guys are so so so much better...or maybe worse... (first was when the Kutu Malam gang went to 1Utama..Thomas was one of those guys!!)

anyway, kok woei and edwin decided to buy Italy's home jersey like a few days before the finals..and being the good girlfriend i am (im always good la..in fact im the best...bwahahaha), i decided to join them, thinking that it'll not last long..

to my horror, it was the worst ever shopping trip in my ENTIRE life..even my mom doesnt spend that much energy and time shoppingg for ONE thing..

first, we started out from Times Square...scouted every single sports store and there was no jerseys..so we went to Sungei Wang instead.. went to Royal Sporting House, al-Ikhsan and blaa blaa blaa...and NO, there wasnt a single one.. and since the guys' semangat damn high, the planned to drive to 1Utama...all the way fromTimes Square, at 5pm...Peak hour..stuck in the traffic jam..reached 1U at around 7pm..walked almost the whole 1U and found nothing..so they gave up.... only FOR THE DAY ...

next day, edwin decided to bring me on a shopping spree again..this time, we started out from Midvalley..ok...looked around, found nothing...went over to Sungei Wang, AGAIN!!... apparently, someone suddenly remembered that BB Plaza has freaking a lot of sports shop..so we went in search of them...finally found italian jersey..but it wasnt te Home jersey that they wanted...after much negotiations and discussions and calling the so-called "tai yee long", they finally decided to buy the away jerseys..with the Home numbers...hehee...

just when i thought everything was over, they dragged me along the next day in search of Italian flag...sigh...so we practically went to every bookstore or whatever stores we thought might have the flag in Midvalley..sadly, we found none..like i said, these boys semangat tinggi sangat, decided to sew the flags themselves..we ended up i Kamdar choosing textiles and the next thing i know, we were back in kok woei's house sewing...with D-jack and sailoon too..

the party was fun..it was crazy..i never partied like this before and it has been a really long time since i really had fun...and luck was really on our side, because not only did Italy won the Cup of Life, edwin won two Special Standing Tickets to Pussy Cat Dolls concert on that day...*yeay*

just three days ago, there i was, with my new roomie,Eliza, Edwin, Therese and Hui Munn, hanging out at Sunway Surf Beach..it was freaking fun!! the crowd was bad...especially the guys..they were totally NUTS when they saw PCD.they dont even care f they were stepping on someone else's feet nor if any girl has stripped not if someone in front of them fainted...basically, i was pushed hundred of times, nearly quarrelled with two dudes, got my foot stepped on by one (and it was my left foot with the swollen toe..Ouch!!) and i saw a lady with HUGE breast..whom therese calls "Hantu tetek".. the concert didn't come without a price after all...

BUT

i really had amazing fun..watching those hot kitties strutting their stuffs on stage just gets people fired up..!!
took some pictures, but couldnt get much clear ones..BUT, i did get one of Adam C...and boy, he's so cute man!! hehe..

the opening act was a lil'...wait...should be extremely slow and long...with reshmonu and his gang playing n dancing on the stage..but it was worth the wait since PCD did a nasty job in getting all of us high..

i wish i can publish the pictures here for you to see, but i dont know whats wrong with blogspot...i havent been able to upload pictures for the past few posts..so will make it up to you when blogspot allows me to put up the pictures k?just remember to remind me though..

i'm getting forgetful these days..

what did i just say?huh? *wondering*

hospital daze..

edwin was admitted to Tawakal Hospital on 30th June at 4am in the morning due to hyperventilation and dehydration. It was a scary experience for me...watching him breathing so slowly with difficulties...his limbs all numbed...and he couldnt move. sending him to the hospital was my only option and hope when he came down with high fever and started to lose his consciousness..

upon reaching the hospital, the medical officer put him on drip while i have to go through all sorts of documentation with his cousin brother. Sai Loon and Kok Woei were both walking up and down and looking after edwin at the same time. after around 1 hour, he was finally admitted to a 4-person room.

he was sleeping like baby..and i wondered how much pain and worry i went through that night..but looking at him sleeping soundly, i knew it didnt matter as long as he was safe.

edwin sleeping like a baby

i slept for a few hours and woke up to check on him a few times. the nurses came and do their rounds and one passed me a bottle which she said is for edwin's pee. they need the "specimen" to run tests.

i went back to sleep after the nurse came at 7am. slept till 9am.woke up when the doctor came. woke edwin up. he talked to edwin and told him what should be eaten and what not to be eaten.

Doc: try to avoid drinking milk and eating vegetables and fruits. they will upset your stomach.

edwin: *face lighted up* Ok!

i dont know what to say except that edwin has this weird habit of not eating anything green and anything sour. to sum it up, he hates vegetables and he hates mangoes, yoghurt, apples(this im not sure why) and sour plums. he loves everything sweet...which i think he's a bit overdoing it! so you see, he WAS very glad to know that he was given permission not to eat any vege..for at least a week...so he was in "syiok" mode ler...

after the doctor went, he continued sleeping, skipping his breakfast of pancakes with butter and jam..which i finished it for him... he wasnt feeling hungry..the drip was providing him he "food" he needed. so there i was, eating almost all his meals. the nurses were not told that he could not take oily food and vegetables. so for the first day, all they prepared were food he could not eat..but he didnt want to eat anyway..i told the nurse about his diet and they did something about his breakfast and lunch the next day.

kok woei and the gang came in the afternoon to visit him. i bought newspapers for him...knowing the fact that he must be worried sick about the football matches he missed..so after the guys left, he started reading. it was a nice sight, to finally see him sitting up and looking better.

he slept again while i read the book he bought for me just the night before.

his right hand was swollen that night..that's the hand that was fixed to the drip.

the next day, the doctor came and checked him and announced that he was able to be discharged that afternoon. he recovered really fast, cos right after he was discharged, he was already driving home to Klang.

well...the very next day, we were walking at 1utama,shopping with his cousin..

who would have believed that he was really sick? you tell me...

after so long..

i finally found the strength to blog it here..and it was hard.

to lose someone so close.
to have someone you love so damn much taken away.
to not be given a chance to take one last look at him before he was gone..forever.
to know that there will never be another day to look him in the eyes and talk to him about my little dreams.
to know that i will never ever hear him call me anymore...eventhough i do not understand a single word he said.
and to know that there never will be anyone who can take his place in my heart...

i have found the strength to speak out how i feel..after 1 whole month..but i still have not found the strength to talk about him openly..and i do not want to.
for what belongs to the both of us, will forever belong to just him and i.

i love you, darling..always will.

It wasn't that BAD...

Two days ago, i received my result...


I PASSED MY FOUNDATION YEAR!!

there wasn't any BIG celebration...but the contentment was..oops! sorry, IS beyond description. you see, i never expected myself to pass. and i still think that it was mere luck. maybe i was just blessed with it.

but two days ago, i received an equally upsetting news too. Neeshaa didn't make it because of a stupid prgramming paper. I was so excited to start hostel life with Neeshaa as my new block-mate... now, everything has crashed. I was there to see how hard Neeshaa had studied for the exams, and i must say that she has put in equal, if not more, effort as everyone else who had passed the exam. she was so determined to do well and i just couldn't believe that this happened. i just pray and wish that somehow, Neeshaa will join me again in PJ really really soon...and we can continue to go crazy like we always do.

first evening at Millenium Court was quite okay. Neeshaa and i took our baths, and headed for KFC, which is situated just right beside MC. Had a nice meal and chatted quite a lot with Shaa. Then we headed back to my room, to change my ROTTING mattress. .. yeap! my mattress was rotten.. and i was planning to sleep on it until i get a new one this weekend until.. I SAW MY SAVIOUR!! well, it just happened that my ex-teacher in secondary school is staying one floor above me, and she has two really thick and new mattresses, and she decided to donate one to me. Hence, we took the mattress to my room and started to really clean the entire room. It was only then that it hit us so so so so freaking hard that we really miss those people misisng in our lives and our old hang-outs. The hostel gang...TBR...The benches...Canteen 1 & 2...Setapak...
we really felt like going "home"...looking out my room window, it just didn't seem like "home" at all without the usual big trees, the KLCC view and of course, the laughter of each and everyone back at "home"...

scanning through each and everything and person that was in sight, it was a really diffrent view..

AND A REALLY DIFFERENT VIEW IT WAS INDEED...

I SAW HALF-NAKED GUYS!!!!!!!!!!hahahaha...

like...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.... Oooh! there's too many to count... yes...and all of them was in my view..!! well, u see, just roght opposite my block is a all-guy's block. and well..guys like to be semi-naked...can't blame me... it was a feast for my eyes... and it was the ONLY entertainment Shaa and i had!! SO DO NOT JUDGE US!!! haha..

we were giggling and getting high in the room when suddenly, we saw a guy is just his....TOWEL!!and he was trying to put his underwear/shorts on with the curtains and windows wide open... Oooohhh... Sexy...

i decided to call Edwin..

"What are you doing?"
"Don't ask. Eh, Pinjam me your binoculars!!"
"Huh? What? Why?"
"Aiya, got-lah!"
"Ooohh....WHY????"
"You know-lah!"
"DON'T WANT!!"
"yerrr!!! Why cannot pinjam me?"
"Cause you cannot look at other guys!!"
"They are there for me to see ma...and they are half-naked...OOooohh!! So sexy weh!"
"No need.. don't want and don't see!!"

haha..i enjoyed myself by torturing Edwin, and Neeshaa was enjoying herself listening to the converstaion...and of course, both of us continued our "viewing" after we made that call...